I just needed somewhere to rant about this... so i came back here, cause I doubt anyone will read it. I have been friends (or so i thought) with this certain person, A, ever since last august. but we never met or anything since he is in Korea and is a model. He had became a idol group member without telling us that he had any practices or anything. but finally, when they debuted.. I remember the day my olvls ended. My friend said that there was a guy that looked like our friend. I got shocked. and not long after that he confirmed that it was him. mmm, yeah he got known and we started to see him in videos and all. we felt proud for him.
now, after 7 months, today.. I found out that he sort of had never regarded me as his friend. he dmed my other friend, telling her stuffs like "you had been there before i debut".... and other stuff
HELLO WHAT THE FUCK?? Was I a ghost or something? Did i not exist? I treated you as a friend. I love all my friends and keep them close to my heart. but what? You only dmed her? She wasn't the only one who cared for you. I care for you as well! I may have not mentioned you when u weren't around. I'm not the type to express myself like that. I'm not so straightforward. I loved you and missed you too. why why why why.... why?
I don't know if i should be angry or sad. But you know, for the past 7 months, I regarded you as a friend. Someone I cared for and love. To see that you didn't even tell me that you are leaving and gonna delete your twitter. it all tells me that I was never your friend. So i'm just a girl who gave her care and love to a random person?
if i didn't care for you i wouldn't tell you to rest well, to drink water and milk. to not overwork yourself. Tell you that I'm proud of you. all these wouldn't just go to a person I don't care and love for.
But you...... I'm still gonna keep you in my heart, I'm not gonna because of this..start to hate you or anything. You were my friend, and still are. It just isn't a two way thing huh. my friend, I love you and always will support you. Whether as the old person we knew, the model parttime art teacher & barista, to the cool member of that group, I still love you. I'm waiting for your new album :)
but then, for the past 7 months, I thought you regarded me as a friend. I was just imagining huh...?